Issue Three
When You Are The Sun To My Earth,
Beautiful Things Happen
To love is to be vulnerable.
— C.S. Lewis
A few weeks back I wrote you, my brilliant web of friends, family, and acquaintances, with an update on my new adolescent wellness venture, The Practice of Life.
You made me laugh with responses about being too old to participate in my survey, not having an adolescent (although maybe occasionally acting like one), and telling me how crazy I am to be launching a new venture. And many of you shared great insight into what being-well might feel like for your family.
Thank you!
Taking action and having impact in the world is salve for my heart.
I want to share a deeply personal story with you: about heartbreak; gorgeous, electric love; hope and healing; and, the breath-taking power of our universe. A love story for the books and the last Practice correspondence you will receive (unless you choose to join the group and see where this adventure takes me).
I lost my mother and her husband Bill this fall. It is impossible to imagine a world without them in it. My heart is breaking, I miss them terribly.
In the days contemplating their decline and now, stinging with their loss, I have been thinking, what happens when we die?
I like to think that our physical remains become building blocks for soil, and trees, and stardust. And that the swells of love gathered in our hearts join a swirling, invisible ocean of warm-heartedness, washing over us as we sleep with the push and pull of the moon.
But what about the sun and the earth and beautiful things? Did you know that if not for fantastic magnetic fields, we'd have no aurora borealis?
"Earth's magnetic field, also called the magnetosphere, is generated by currents of molten iron in the planet's interior and extends outward from the poles in great bulging arcs…The Sun's charged particles race along Earth's field lines like horses on a track, accelerating as they approach the poles. When they tear through the magnetosphere colliding with nitrogen and oxygen molecules, the result is the aurora—huge snaking swaths of green and reddish light, and in rarer cases, purple and blue.”
My Mom and Bill had an incredible, field-squashing magnetic love connection. There are not many marriages that can rival the deep tenderness they shared.
They inspired everyone they met with their compassion, joy, and curiosity — fresh in love and on their way to Presbyterian seminary together, and every moment lock-step, all the way into their 80's — across the threshold of the living to, well, none of us know exactly what?
But it turns out they were not going to navigate that void alone. As in life, they figured out how to finesse their "after-life" too, dying just 38 days apart.
Pulled back into place, side by side, a stunning, night-sky-beauty-force-field, with magnificent sparks streaming along behind them as they head out for their next adventure. Together.
They inspire me. They move me to trust that every single person can work towards this kind of love, joy, and meaning.
What's the point of living if we aren't soaking it up, soaking up the love of those around us?
Listen, the future is a wave that's either going to crush us or that we can learn to ride.
The grief still comes in waves, but I am working hard to be optimistic and to pay attention to the little things I can do. Let my son sleep a little bit more or mama him up with home-cooked meals, show concern about the world around me, slow down, reflect and connect when there are bumps in friendship or family life. Spread my light.
A dear friend sent me the happiest video two days ago. Pure joy, heart-warming music, elephants, and dancers (no, really, I am not kidding — elephants and cooks dancing together!).
I watched it and cried with happiness, and sadness too (a lot like my Mom used to do), and then promptly sent it to a bunch of family and friends. Guess what? It made them really, really happy too (I know because they told me).
And you know what else? I felt closer to them; I felt hope for a world with big, beautiful animals and humans who care for their well-being; for the inspiration in just one dance, and the power of LOVE.
Here it is! You may find yourself watching it more than once. ;)
Please, in honor of Mom and Bill, two stunning LOVERS (C.S. Lewis’s four types of love fully accounted for), take a moment, right now, to spread your light.
Bring your gaze up, look around you, shake off the noise and weight, and take some hearty gulps of fresh air, joy, and connection.
Forward the radiant Jerusalem video or any other lovely piece of light that you find along your way.
...the happiest moments are those when we forget our precious selves...but have everything else (...our fellow humans, animals, the garden & the sky) instead.
— C.S. Lewis
The sun’s charged particles have now been formally passed to me. No parents standing by me to light and model the way forward.
Now is my time to emulate their best qualities and put legacy into action.
Mom. Dad. Bill.
(and my stunning and alive son Ty)
Are you watching me?
